I just got out of a 5 year relationship with someone that I loved very much. We broke up back in early April and I can’t get over her. A bit of background information for you: A 5 year long distant relationship across a few states. I would travel to see her about twice a year and either pay for her to come see me or her parents would. We would talk every single day. We’re both young (yet over the legal drinking age). Like any other couple we would have our disagreements from time to time, but whenever we did see each other it was great.
We took a break in our relationship for about 2 months late last year, but managed to work through our problems and reunited with what I believed was a stronger bond than the stressed relationship it was becoming. A month or so after reconciling an old online flame came back into her life. This threw a wrench into everything. She would speak to me less and say she was going to sleep, but instead stayed up chatting. Things became real ugly even on her next trip to see me. I was sure it was soon to be over until I visited her and had a great time together. After my visit though, things reverted back to hardly speaking and being too stressed on her end.
We concluded the relationship and swore to be friends. As friends she would still say that she wants me as a part of her life, flirt and say how she wants to see me. She would say all this but not want to be in a relationship. This continued until last week. She still claims to not want to date anyone or be in a relationship, still says she wants me in her life, but I have found out that she is speaking to someone 4 years her junior. Seems interested in getting to know this individual and possibly dating.
So myself knowing all of this and being so stressed and heartbroken, why can’t I get over it and move on? I told her I would stop talking to her for a while, but my pain does not seem to lessen.
I do have someone that is interested in being with me and I do feel an attraction to them as well, but my ex is the person my heart cries for.
How can move on? How can I stop myself from heading towards depression?
Well Jeffrey, its always hard when a relationship that lasted so long with so many memories come to an end, but thats life and you need start living it again. Tell your ex exactly why you want to stop talking to her so that when you come back ready, you might be able to salvage a valuable friendship. Some say that friends become lovers, but lovers never become friends. But I don’t believe that and neither should you. People who share special memories make the most valuable and precious friends. So after you tell your ex why you want to cut communications with her, live a little. Have some fun. Hang out with your friends. You are still young so live your life. Now you mentioned someone being interested in you and you find them attractive as well. My advice is to stay out of a relationship unless you are certain that you can commit and you truly are in love. Never get in a relationship to get your minds off of someone else, because you know what? You might end up giving the exact same pain that you are feeling now to the other person. So unless you have really fallen in love with her, try to stay out of a relationship, because it will only end up with more scars for everyone. Do what you love and do what you know will make you happy and healthy again. If people can never forget the ones they have loved, everyone will end up dead from brokenhearts. We all move on, just some do better than others.
Jeffrey hopes that people who are going through similar situation can find comfort in this.
I’m a massive Michael Jackson fan, so after his death, I nearly died. My family don’t really like him, and tell me to shut up about him. I feel such a strong connection with him, not as a musician, but as a person. I haven’t met him, but in my heart, I feel I have. I’m now talking to my imaginary friend Michael Jackson. I figured if he can’t be here with me on this earth, he can be in my head and heart always. Now my parents have gone beserk on me, allowing only 30 minutes of MJ time per day. They don’t understand that Michael’s my only friend. They don’t get that I need Michael. So the other day, I ran away for 10 hours, and they called the police and search and rescue to find me. All this because I miss Michael terribly and no one gets it. I love him more than life and no one seems to understand. He’s like my only friend. I have no other friends. Not because I’m nasty, no! It’s because I’m a social delinquent. I can’t fit into normal social situations. That’s just how I am. And I felt so many similarities with Michael, it was like I could relate to him. People thought he was odd, and people think I’m odd. It’s not fair that people will just judge like that. I love Michael Jackson, and I just want to die because I miss him so much. Without Michael, the world has lost its only remaining purity and innocence. Part of my heart is missing. I miss him and love him so much.
Thank you so much for reading this. What you’re doing is just wonderful! Please reply to me. I need a shoulder to cry on.
Well hello there Georgia. I understand that you are feeling alot of pain from Michael’s death and I hope you know that there are many others that feel the same way. It is tragic how the world has lost someone truly special, but you have to keep on living strong for Michael. People can feel terribly lonely when they loose someone that they had speical connection to, but missing them won’t bring them back. The greatest thing you can do for Michael now is to live even harder for his sake. And remember, Michael is not your only friend. I’m here for you as well. Never think that you are alone, because there is at least one person out there that cares for you.
ps. If you would like me to post this on Friend2Talk blog so that others may sympathize with you, feel free to tell me so. Otherwise, I’ll keep this between us.
It’s Georgia again. I’m just typing to say thank you so much for replying, your sympathy has brought tears to my eyes. I’m just so glad that there’s someone out there thinking about me, even when I feel all alone. You’re right, I need to keep living strong for Michael. Thanks for being my friend. I really need one.
P.S. You may post my message on your blog. I’m fine with that. One person sympathizing is great, but lots of people is even better. Thank you so much again! I’m so glad I have a friend to talk to. :)
Your very welcome Georgia.
If you are wondering if Friend2Talk is still operating, the answer is yes. I’ve have gotten handful of emails, but I couldn’t post them on the blog due to their request. So if you need a friend, you know where to turn to.
I will also be available through gtalk for anyone.
I feel that some have misunderstood what Friend2Talk is about, so I have reposted a reply that may best summarize what Friend2Talk is really about.
I believe that if I categorize myself as a certain type of person, others may feel reluctant to share their stories with me because they feel that I can’t understand what they are going through. I wish to be a blank canvas which anyone can paint on. I wish to be a father to those who never had a father. I wish to be a mother to those who are distant from their mothers. I wish to be a friend, a brother, a sister, or just set of ears. I wish to be what you want me to be. I hope people do not misunderstand and think that this blog is for counseling. I may give advice to those who ask for them, but otherwise, im just your listener. I post stories of sorrow, grief or joy, because some of us need more than one set of ears.
I have gotten my first email from Cindy.
Before I share her story, I would like to mention some additional info about this blog.
1. When you send me an email, you can address me by whatever name or word you would like.
2. When a story is posted and the replies are made, I will approve and post what I would consider to be the best replies. The number of replies approved will differ from story to story.
3. If by chance you do not wish for your story to be posted and just want me to read it and reply privately, please state it at the end or beginning of the email. Unless otherwise stated, I will post your story on the blog. You can request for me to take it down anytime.
Hi, I had never done this before so im a bit nervous, but i really needed someone to hear me out. So ive been dating my bf for like 3 years and my sister told me last week that he was hitting on her for like a month. i was spending so much time with my bf that i kinda lost touch with most of my friendz and i don’t wanna talk to my sister about it. I cried for like three days and been ignoring all my bfs texts. He doesn’t know that I know about him and my sister. I really want to break up with him but i think i love him too much. Should I tell him that i know about him and my sister? I mean I dont think i can see him without getting angry again. Should I dump him or forgive him? im just so frustrated right now and i just needed to talk to somebody. Thanks for listening and i could really use some advice.
Cindy, you’re very welcome and I would like to thank you for trusting me. First of all, the most important action you need to take is confront your boyfriend about this incident. Even before you decide to leave him or stay with him, you must confront him first. After you have talked to your boyfriend about it, you might get a better sense of where you want to take your relationship with him. One word of advice is if he keeps denying that such incident has ever happened even when you confront him about it, it is best to end such relationship. Because without trust, no relationship can ever truly last.
Cindy, I would also like to point out the importance of friendship. Even when you spend time with your boyfriend, keep your friends close, because friends can sometimes see what you fail to see in relationships. And you will always know that they are on your side.
I hope I get some more emails soon. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. The email to send to is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you again Cindy and if anyone else has advice to give to her, post a reply with your advice.
Well, if you are here to find a friend to talk to, you are at the right place. Whether you need a consolation, a honest opinion, or to just vent, I am all ears. Send me an email with your story and I will post them on this blog with my earnest reply to show that there is someone out there that cares about what you have to say. You can send me an email at http://email@example.com. I will not disclose your email address and you can remain completely anonymous, but if you do let me know your name, I can post your first name to credit the story to you. Again, you can email me at http://firstname.lastname@example.org